Harry Potter and The Half Blood Oaf
by funnymango
Summary: The book is Harry's sixth year, and shares same events as HPHBP, but is a different take. The Half Blood Prince book somehow ends up in Neville's hands, the trio uses their mind skills to stop Malfoy from scheming, and Albus is teaching Harry something more interesting than Voldy's past. Rated M for some sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and his world in any way.**

**Chapter 1**

The Prime Minister of Britain had had a very difficult week. He had spent hours and hours sorting through papers of all the recent tragedies that had happened, and coming up with explanations for them. The collapse of the bridge, the missing families...how could they all have happened at the same time. Somehow, he felt they were connected. The Prime Minister sighed and went to his computer. What he needed now was a break.

He opened up youtube and searched for naked women dancing to classical music. Then he pulled down his pants and relaxed in his chair.

"Fudge requests a meeting!" bellowed a voice. The Prime Minister turned around, bewildered, to find a portrait of a man in a silver wig.

"Now?!" questioned the Prime Minister.

"Immediately," replied the portrait. And right away, Fudge popped out of the fireplace, bowler hat and all.

The Prime Minister shrieked, shut down his computer, and frantically tried to pull up his pants.

"Nice of us to meet again, Prime Minister," smiled Fudge, holding out his hand. The Prime Minister wiped his hand on his shirt and shook hands. The truth was, the Prime Minister hated meeting with Fudge. Not only did he always come with bearings of misfortune, he treated the Prime Minister like a baby orangutan with ADHD.

"Nice to see you too, Cornelius," lied The Prime Minister. "So what brings you here?"

"You know perfectly well why I came," pointed out Fudge. He went into a lengthy explanation of all the attacks recently. He talked about Voldemort and his followers, of the missing and dead such as Amelia Bones, of the death eater attack on the bridge, and about how hard it was trying to cover this all up from the Muggle community.

"But Fudge- haven't you been doing anything about it? I mean you're Minister of Magic after all!" the Prime Minister burst out.

"My dear Prime Minister, you can't honestly think I'm still Minister of Magic after all this?"

"Well then, who is?" asked the Prime Minister.

"We thought Rufus Scrimgeour would be a good choice, but he would rather be fighting with the Aurors. So we've left the job to Maximaf Stone. We thought she'd cheer the public up a bit."

As if on cue, a skinny woman with a unibrow and bulging eyes popped out of the fireplace. The Prime Minister's first impression was that she looked rather jolly for such dark times. She quickly introduced herself as the new Minister of Magic and poured the Prime Minister a glass of butterbeer she conjured out of her wand.

Fudge and Stone started to discuss the situation animatedly with each other, and the Prime Minister started to feel left out. He sipped his butterbeer. It tasted somewhat sour to the Prime Minister, and after he drank it he noticed something was wrong. He felt his nose start to swell up like a balloon. He yelled in indignation but his voice came out as a nasal squeak.

"Got you, old chap!" Stone cackled and pounded him on the back as if they were sharing a joke. Fudge looked unimpressed.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Narcissa and Bellatrix rushed into the house at Spinner's End on the cold night. Snape was waiting at the table, fingers laced together.

"Severus- I'm sorry, but you are the only one who can help me!" Narcissa moaned.

"Him?" sneered Bellatrix. "What has he done all these years but hide from the Dark Lord's service?"

"I have been spying on Dumbledore all these years," said Snape smugly.

"So? The Dark Lord considers me as his most trusted servant," boasted Bellatrix.

"Well, the Dark Lord considers me as his son!" retorted Snape. There was a silence. Narcissa wiped her eyes with her napkin, as Bellatrix stared very interestingly at Snape.

"Severus," Narcissa finally said. "The Dark Lord has asked my son Draco to do something very dangerous. He has asked him to try to kill Albus Dumbledore- which he will surely fail to do! And then the Dark Lord will kill him, an act purely of revenge against Lucius!" She cried for a minute. "I want you to swear that you will protect him at Hogwarts."

Snape nodded. "Go on."

"I want you to do an Unbreakable Vow."

Snape looked straight at Narcissa. "And so I shall. Bellatrix, you will be the bonder."

Bellatrix looked astonished but she agreed and drew her wand. Snape and Narcissa linked hands.

"Will you, Severus Snape look over Draco as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lords' wishes?" asked Narcissa.

"I will," replied Snape, and a flame from Bellatrix's wand wrapped itself around their hands.

"And will you do your best to protect him from any harm at all, and I mean every little thing that tries to hurt him? And will you act as a comfort to him and wipe his tears from his face when he is sad? And follow him every single place he goes, including invading his privacy, to make sure he doesn't cause trouble?"

Snape opened his mouth in shock and narrowed his eyes. "I-I will," he got out.

Narcissa smiled triumphantly. Bellatrix's spell wrapped around their hands and binded them together in a fiery glow. The Vow was complete. Snape was unaware of how much trouble this would cause him in the future.

**New Chapters will come each day! Will be at least 12 chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't even try to accuse me of owning Harry Potter world. All credit goes to JK Rowling. I am merely living off of her fandom.**

**Chapter 2**

Harry was impatient. Dumbledore was supposed to have arrived at 9 pm, but it was 15 minutes past that time. Harry sat on his bed and packed up the belongings of his trunk for the 3rd time. Something caught his eye in a scrap of newspaper. The headline read "**Maximaf Stone Appointed New Minister of Magic"** There was a picture below which depicted a woman waving manically towards a crowd of cheering wizards/witches. He sighed. The Ministry had reached a new low.

Harry peered downstairs to see all three Dursleys busy watching the telly. They had avoided him all this summer, and that was how he liked it. But still, it was getting rather lonely without anyone to talk to. Only Hedwig kept him company. He went over to Hedwig's cage to check on her, and was alerted when she suddenly started screeching and flapping her wings. Usually that meant that someone was coming. He looked out the window, and sure enough, Dumbledore was walking down the street in his brightest robes and pointed hat. Harry dashed down the stairs to open the door for him, but Uncle Vernon had already done so.

Dumbledore stepped through the doorstep and smiled. Uncle Vernon's face went red with anger.

"Good evening, Harry. I see you did not warn your aunt and uncle of my arrival, but no matter." He held out his hand for Uncle Vernon. "Ah. You must be Harry's uncle?" Uncle Vernon did not reply because he was trembling with rage. "And here is dear Petunia," remarked Dumbledore, nodding in her direction. Aunt Petunia cowered back and tried to hide Dudley behind herself, which was an impossible task given Dudley's weight.

"Well Harry, before we get going, we have some things to discuss." Dumbledore conjured up a massaging swivel chair and sat down. "When Sirius died, you were left some of his belongings. First of all, Grimmauld Place."

"I don't want it," replied Harry. "It's old, it's dirty, and it stinks of old cobwebs."

"You would rather it going to Bellatrix Lestrange?" questioned Dumbledore.

"Well-" faltered Harry. "I'll take it. But I don't want to live in it. You can make it your headquarters."

"That will do. Now, if you have inherited the house of Black, you will also have inherited Kreacher." He snapped his fingers and Kreacher appeared with a pop, landing on Uncle Vernon's head. Uncle Vernon screamed, but Dumbledore ignored him.

"I don't want it," replied Harry for the second time. "It's old, it's dirty, and it stinks of old cobwebs."

"You would rather it going to Bellatrix Lestrange?" questioned Dumbledore for the second time.

"Well-" replied Harry. "Can we let him work at the kitchens at Hogwarts?"

"Certainly," agreed Dumbledore. "Though the idea of Kreacher touching our food is not very appealing. Now, I have matters to discuss with your uncle and aunt."

"We don't want ANYTHING to do with you!" bellowed Uncle Vernon.

"It's not about me," said Dumbledore calmly. "It's about Harry. I had hoped that you would have treated him as a son. But I was wrong. For sixteen years, all he has known were cruelty and neglect by your hands. You have locked him up, you have starved him, you have exposed him to the excuse of a boy sitting between you. And above all, you have never-"

"Professor," interrupted Harry. "Do we really have time for this? It's not as if they're listening anyway."

"But Harry-"

"I can handle this," stated Harry. He drew his wand and pointed it at the TV, which flickered on. Then he levitated the TV through the window. The Dursleys followed it out the door, their eyes glued to the screen.

"Impressive, Harry," mused Dumbledore. He walked out the door and Harry followed with his trunk. "And now, we must wander off into the night." Dumbledore held out his hand. Harry flinched, thinking he might slap him.

"We need to apparate, dear child," reminded Dumbledore.

"Oh," said Harry blankly and took Dumbledore's hand. He was yanked up into the air- everything went black- and his insides were pressured beyond control- and then...

They landed into the cool night air. Dumbledore started walking immediately, with Harry struggling to follow. They walked through a gate into a quiet village.

"Um sir, what are we doing?" asked Harry, suddenly aware that he had no idea of Dumbledore's plans.

"We're going to see an old colleague of mine to convince him to come back to teaching at Hogwarts." Dumbledore walked up to a neat, stone house and rapped on the door. No one answered so he walked inside. Harry immediately knew something was wrong.

There was destruction everywhere. The furniture lay in ruins, the walls were scratched, and there were bloodstains on the floor. Dumbledore, seemingly unaffected, hummed a merry tune and casually jabbed at a overstuffed armchair. "Ouch!" it yelled. Harry gasped- where there had previously been an armchair there was now an enormously fat man with a huge walrus moustache. Also, he was wearing no clothes. Evidently the transfiguration had not worked completely. Harry was spared from seeing the man's privates as he rushed to the bathroom shouting "Sorry , I"LL GO GET SOME CLOTHES!"because the man's layers of fat covered it all.

"That's Horace Slughorn," said Dumbledore smartly.

Slughorn appeared again in about a minute and the two friends embraced.

"Albus, Albus, good to see you," roared Slughorn and the two friends embraced. Then Slughorn's eyes fell upon Harry.

"My god," he mouthed. "Harry Potter...You have her mother's eyes. I taught her while she was at school, you know..."

"I may have my mother's eyes, but I have my father's sexiness," said Harry confidently. Slughorn blinked.

"Well, I will now go to look at some knitting patterns for some reason, so Harry can convince you to come back to Hogwarts by himself," said Dumbledore conversationally and he left the room. Harry and Slughorn stared at each other for a few minutes.

"I'm not coming back!" protested Slughorn finally.

"I've got loads of Galleons," suggested Harry.

"I don't need the money!"

"Right." Harry thought for a second and then came up with a great idea. He drew his wand and levitated Slughorn's favorite crystallized pineapple at a tall height.

"If you don't come," Harry threatened, "They drop."

"No," Slughorn whimpered. "You wouldn't!"

"I will," said Harry evilly.

"OKAY I"LL DO IT!" Slughorn screamed in agony.

"Impressive, Harry," commented Dumbledore, reappearing into the room. "You have nice tactics."

He turned to Slughorn. "Until we meet again, Horace." They shook hands.

Dumbledore and Harry exited the house. They apparated towards the Burrow. The experience still left him gasping for breath, but he was used to it now. They arrived in the yard of The Burrow. The lights were on and they could hear voices talking.

"Come now," said Dumbledore. "Let us not deprive Molly any longer the chance to deplore how thin you are."

**The next chapter(s) will diverge from the canon book hehe. You will see some unexpected love and plot.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and his world (though I wish I did. Actually, no I don't, because I would make a way worse author than JK Rowling )**

**Chapter 3**

Dumbledore left Harry alone at the Burrow. Harry knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" a voice shouted.

"Harry," he answered. Mr. Weasley peered open the door, and Mrs. Weasley suddenly rushed Harry inside.

"Good gracious, Harry, you gave us a fright!" she said. She closed the door.

"Molly, we didn't ask him the question," said Mr. Weasley sternly.

"Is it really necessary?" complained Mrs. Weasley. "The poor boy is tired."

"He could be a Death Eater for all we know," warned Mr. Weasley. He turned to Harry. "What is the color of your Superhero underpants?"

"Pink, with green polka dots," said Harry, blushing.

"How do you know the-"

"Not now, Molly," sighed Mr. Weasley.

"Sit down, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley predictably. "You must be starving." She made him some hot onion soup and a loaf of bread using magic. Harry drank up the soup hungrily. He spotted a large ginger cat sitting on the table.

"So Hermione is here?" he asked.

"Yes." Harry smiled. It was great to be back at the Burrow. Harry yawned. It was very late at night. He looked at the clock at Mrs. Weasley's sitting room wall, then remembered that it didn't tell time. All nine hands were pointed towards mortal peril.

Trying to shake this off his mind, Harry headed up to Fred and George's bedroom for the night. It had been a long day, and he fell asleep instantly.

**)()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((**

Harry was blinded by a bright light as he heard the curtains being opened.

"SURPRISE!"

He squinted up to see Ron and Hermione standing over him.

"We didn't know you were here already!" shouted Ron excitedly and slapped him on the head.

"Ron, don't hit him!" said Hermione reproachfully.

Harry gratefully agreed. "Blimey Ron, I've _just_ gotten up."

"So, when did you come?" asked Ron.

"Just about one o' clock this morning."

"Were your aunt and uncle treating you okay?" asked Hermione

"Yeah fine, but it's been pretty boring."

"Boring?!" exclaimed Ron. "Come off it! You've been gone with Dumbledore."

"Yeah, but it wasn't much," said Harry. "All we did was go to recruit a new professor."

"Oh," said Hermione, looking somewhat disappointed. She looks cute when she is disappointed, thought Harry. Then he slapped himself internally. Hermione's your friend, he reminded himself. Not your romantic interest.

They were interrupted when Ginny slammed the door open. "Agh!" she grunted.

"What?"

"It's _Pleghm_," Ginny groaned. She plopped herself onto the bed. "She's driving me mad!"

"Who's Pleghm?" asked Harry curiously.

"Oh, hello Harry!" said Ginny seductively, just noticing him. Harry inched backwards. "I was just talking about Fleur."

"Fleur Delacour?" asked Harry. Why is she here?

"Yes, her. She wants to marry Bill." They heard footsteps coming up. "Oh, here she comes."

Sure enough, an extremely beautiful women with flowing blond hair swept open the door, carrying a breakfast tray.

" 'Arry," she sang. "Eet 'as been too long!" She swooped down and gave Harry a kiss on both cheeks. Harry was taken by surprise. Feeling slightly lightheaded, Harry stared at Fleur and all her beauty. Her wonderful blonde hair...her brilliant smile...and of course her two enormous breasts, which were spilling out of her robes...how he wished he could touch her...Oh no. His dick had started feeling the pressure, and he could feel it rising in his pants. He hurriedly tried to place a couple of books in front of his lap to contain the erection.

"Harry, we can see your erection!" laughed Ginny, as soon as Fleur had left the room.

"What?" replied Harry, shocked.

"It's no use hiding it, Harry." Embarrassed, Harry withdrew the books from his lap. He saw Ginny gazing at him and he looked away. Hermione was blushing and Ron was still staring in the direction of Fleur, groggily.

"It's not my fault when she comes up to me like that!" protested Harry. Ginny was laughing, but Hermione at least tried to save him from embarassment.

"I know, Harry," she said. "We'll just leave it."

"I feel your pain," said Ron.

Mr. Weasley called them downstairs to help with some chores. They walked to the kitchen.

"Hey, did you know we're getting our OWL results today?" he told them, anxious to change the topic.

"TODAY!" shrieked Hermione. "Oh no, I probably failed!"

"Calm down," said Ron. "I can't imagine Hermione Granger not getting 11 Outstandings. It's me and Harry who have to worry."

"Speak for yourself," said Harry.

A few hours later, they saw three owls soaring through the window each carrying a letter. Hermione was so anxious she ripped up her package.

When she looked at it she whimpered in frustration.

"What is it?" asked Harry. He moved over to her paper and saw 10 Outstandings and 1 Exceeds Expectations in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Merlin's beard! Hermione Granger gets an Exceeds Expectations," Ron mocked. "Call the cops! A troll has infested her mind!"

"Oh shut up Ron," said Hermione.

Harry looked at his own OWL results, and to his relief, saw exactly what he expected. One O, 5 Es, one P, and one D. Ron had gotten similar results. With a pang of disappointment, Harry realized becoming an Auror was out of the question. But it was not a realistic hope anyway, he thought.

...

Harry spent time in the Burrow the next couple of weeks. He, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny played Quidditch in the yard often, and helped themselves to Mrs. Weasleys heavy meals. Ginny, he found, kept trying to be alone with Harry, much to his annoyance because he was trying to talk to Ron and Hermione. She had approached him sweetly the afternoon when he was in his room and started flirting with him. Harry kept his distance. It was not that he didn't like Ginny- she was beautiful and funny, but he had started to think of her as his sister. Ron was so close to him he practically his brother and Mrs. Weasley felt like his mom. It was just awkward to be in love with her. And besides, if he had to choose any girl to date he would choose Hermione. Wait a second, did he say Hermione? He slapped himself mentally again. _Hermione is your friend, not your romantic interest_, he told himself again. _And it will stay that way_. Or not.

The holiday would have been more peaceful had it not been for the frequent reports of accidents or deaths. One day Lupin came to the Burrow over lunch, announcing that the body of Igor Karkarof had been found.

"The Death Eaters really are getting strict on people who desert them," said Hermione.

"Have you heard that Florean Fortescue was dragged off?" asked Bill.

"The ice cream maker?" Harry questioned. "I used to get free triple scoop Mango Guava Chocolate Explosion ice cream from him, with added nuts."

"Yeah. They said he yelled "I scream for ICE CREAM!" as he was dragged off, and that he hit Yaxley in the nose with a Strawberry Sundae."

"Impressive," commented Ron. "Now, can you please pass the butter?"

They decided to go to Diagon Alley the next day to visit Fred and George's joke shop.

**The next chapter, the plot is going to diverge...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own HarryPotterhisfriendsandhisw orld**

**WARNING: This story contains some sexual scenes, so if you don't want to read about sexual stuff, do not. Not in this chapter specifically though.**

**Chapter 4**

Diagon Alley had changed. What was once a vibrant, packed street filled with shops and colorful windows was now a desolate alleyway. Several purple Ministry posters had been put over the shops, giving warnings and tips like "How to Protect Your House from Death Eaters." As they walked past, they noticed that Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor and Ollivander's wand shop had been boarded up along with many other shops. Instead, tiny stands had been erected selling things such as "Protective Amulets." Harry doubted whether they were real.

"Hermione and Ron have to get robes from Madam Malkin's," said Mrs. Weasley, so they headed to Madam Malkin's. On the way there, Harry ran straight into Hagrid. Now I must inform you that Hagrid is a rather large man, and Harry came out of the incident with several bruises while Hagrid barely noticed.

"Sorry 'bout that," Hagrid grunted as he helped Harry up.

"It's no problem," replied Harry as he wiped the dust off his fingers.

"Well, it's good te see yer lot again," said Hagrid. "Where are ye off te?"

"Madam Malkin's," said Hermione briskly.

"Oh. Jus' be careful," Hagrid told them. "Well, I better get goin' now, I have important business te take care of. See ye at Hogwarts, can't wait te show ye my classes this year."

Ron, Harry, and Hermione looked at each other uneasily. At least Harry knew he wasn't going to be taking Care of Magical Creatures this year, and he was pretty sure Ron and Hermione weren't either.

They headed into Madam Malkin's shop, where Harry soon discovered they were not the only ones there.

"Mother, can you stop bothering me for a second," drawled a voice. "I can do my shopping myself."

Malfoy, recognized Harry. He immediately clenched up on the inside. He was getting his robes done by Madam Malkin.

"Ah, it's Potter," said Malfoy smugly. "And looks like he brought along his Mudblood friend."

"I was wondering what the smell was," Narcissa commented.

"Please, none of that in here!" whimpered Malkin.

Harry and Ron drew their wands, ignoring her.

"Don't," warned Hermione, holding back their hands.

"Yeah, listen to Granger, Weasley," sneered Malfoy. "You don't want to get your family into any more trouble."

"Speaking of families in trouble," interrupted Harry, before Ron could react, "I'd be careful if I were you. I wouldn't want to end up in Aszkaban like your pathetic Death Eater father."

Narcissa stared daggers at Harry. "Don't you _dare_ talk about Lucius like that!" she hissed. Harry and the Malfoys stared at each other for a second. They were interrupted when Malfoy yelled

"Ouch!"

Madame Malkin had rolled up the sleeve of Malfoy's left arm, he crazily slapped it away, rolling the sleeve back down...

"GET YOUR FUCKIN' HANDS AWAY FROM ME, BITCH!" he screamed.

Harry stared. Strange behaviour from the little git, he thought. What was he hiding?

"Come, Draco, let's leave," said Narcissa, and they exited the shop.

"I think there's something on Malfoy's arm that he doesn't want anyone to see," stated Harry after they were alone again.

"No shit," spat Ron.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Out of all the shops on Diagon Alley, there was one that stood out. Harry immediately recognized it as Fred and George's joke shop, from the poster that blazed above:

**Why are you worrying about You Know Who?**

**When you should be worrying about You-No-Poo!**

**The Constipation Sensation that's gripping the nation!**

Harry started to laugh. He heard Mrs. Weasley angrily muttering the phrase under her breath.

"They're going to be murdered in their beds," she growled.

"No they won't" shouted Ron, who like Harry, was laughing. "This is brilliant!"

They entered the shop, excited. Half of all the people in Diagon Alley seemed to be inside the shop. They were eagerly chatting to each other, loading their arms with joke items, or just plain out laughing.

The shelves were stacked with rows and rows of items- from canary creams and trick wands to reusable hangman and decoy detonaters- little bomb-shaped wind up toys that made loud noises. There was a sign that said "Edible Dark Marks! Only 3 knuts. Eat them and you'll be breathing fire!" Hermione was examining a packet of Peruvian Darkness powder and looking impressed. A fizzing whizzbee exploded over Harry's head as he caught sight of Fred and George themselves.

"Hey Harry! Welcome to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes!" boomed Fred.

"You can get anything of your choice, no charge," said George. "We don't forget- you're the one who gave us the money."

"Wow! Thanks, guys," exclaimed Harry. "Your shop is really great!"

"Harry, how about you come with us and see some of the ah- more interesting items," Fred said, steering Harry to the back of the shop.

"Just don't tell our mum," added George. "She'll probably make us peel potatoes in a cellar for the rest of our lives if she finds out."

They left Harry alone in a hidden from view room. It was stacked with love potions, lust potions, and even some sexual toys. He was surprised to see Ginny in there, examining a lust potion intently.

"Oh!" she said, dropping the bottle when she caught sight of Harry. She was blushing.

"I hope you're not thinking of using any of that on me," Harry said.

"I-I'm not," stuttered Ginny. "Why would I do that?" But Harry wasn't paying attention anymore. He had spotted Draco Malfoy through the window, walking alone and in a hurry. He had evidently given his mother the slip.

Harry dashed past Ginny, leaving her flustered, and went and found Ron and Hermione. Ron was carrying a huge stack of items, and was the verge of teetering over.

"Malfoy's up to something suspicious," he explained. "C'mon. We have to follow him."

"Harry, why are you stalking Malfoy?" asked Hermione sensibly.

"I'm not _stalking_ him," protested Harry. "I'm just following his every move." Ron snorted.

They exited the shop, wearing the invisibility cloak to make sure the adults did not see them. This was easier than it sounded- after Ron and Harry's growth spurts it was considerably harder for all three of them to fit underneath the cloak. Harry was glad, though, to be snuggled against Hermione's body.

"There he is!" whispered Ron, pointing to a figure which turned around the corner. They quickened their pace and followed him. Malfoy turned to the left, and the trio tried to keep up.

They found themselves in Knockturn Alley, the dark side of town. Harry shuddered. He had been here once before and it had not been a good experience.

Malfoy looked around for anyone and then entered the Borgin and Burke's shop. A few seconds later, Harry, Ron, and Hermione tried to follow him through, but the door was locked.

"Look!" said Hermione. "We can watch through the keyhole."

They peered in the shop to see Malfoy talking to Borgin at the counter.

"I can't hear," said Harry.

"Shhh- wait- I got it." Ron rummaged around in his pocket and withdrew a pair of Extendable Ears. Using the ears, they tried to listen in on the conversation.

"I want that one," demanded Malfoy, pointing to what looked like a disembodied hand.

"Do you have the money?" asked Borgin.

"Are you insulting me?" roared Malfoy. "OF COURSE I have the money. I belong to one of the richest pureblood families in Europe."

Borgin frowned and sold the hand to Malfoy. He looked scared of Malfoy, which was quite strange because Malfoy was only a boy.

"Have you fixed the other one?" drawled Malfoy.

"The necklace?"

"Yes idiot."

"Almost done," said Borgin, pointing to a necklace hanging on a shelf.

"It better be," sneered Malfoy. "Or else I will call some of my- ah- friends to check on you." Borgin shuddered. Malfoy turned around and left the shop; they had to move out of the way to avoid hitting him.

"Malfoy's definitely up to something," Harry said. "We have to see what he bought."

"I'll handle it," said Hermione suddenly, standing up. She entered the room.

"What the hell does she think she's doing?" wondered Ron, bewildered.

)

"Hello, horrible morning, isn't it?" said Hermione to Borgin in an evil voice. Borgin narrowed his eyes.

"Well, I was just wondering what present I should buy for my friend," Hermione made up. She searched the aisles and picked up Malfoy's necklace. "This looks nice. Is it for sale."

"Get out! GET OUT!" yelled Borgin, clearly not buying it.

Hermione did not move, despite what Harry expected. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and advanced on Borgin.

"Nobody tells me to get out!" she defied. Harry had to admire Hermione for her boldness. Plus, she looked sexy when she was angry.

Harry dashed into the shop to stop any more trouble, with Ron following.

"Tell us everything you know about Malfoy's plan!" demanded Harry.

"And why should I?" spat Borgin.

Hermione pointed her wand at Borgin's prized jeweled amulets.

"One 'Reducto' and this will be gone."

"Please don't," said Borgin. "It's valuable!"

Harry saw it coming before it happened. He tackled Hermione to the ground as Borgin unsheathed his wand and fired a curse at her. It narrowly missed. Breathing heavily, Hermione got up and shouted

"Petrificus Totalus!" The spell narrowly missed Borgin's shoulder.

Ron, not wanting to miss out on the action, shouted "Wingardium Leviosa!". The spell lifted Borgin off his feet. But Ron had never been good in direction, and Borgin's levitating body slammed right into Ron's head. Ron groaned and fell unconscious.

"Oh no," said Hermione. "I hope he's okay."

"He'll be fine," stated Harry. He turned to Borgin, who was slumped in the corner, shuddering. Harry took his wand and pointed it menacingly at Borgin's head.

"Now what do you know about Malfoy's plan?"

"N-Nothing," stammered Borgin.

"Liar!" yelled Harry. "We know Malfoy confided some information with you."

Borgin gulped. "Well, he told me some of his plan. On other parts he remained rather...vague. I have theories of course."

"Tell us."

"Malfoy plans to murder Albus Dumbledore."

"He what?!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Malfoy has taken a variety of dark objects from me to carry out his plan," continued Borgin. "He has a cursed necklace that he plans to get to Dumbledore, and he also plans to poison his mead. If that did not work, he plans to use a vanishing cabinet to let Death Eaters into the school. He is working for The Dark Lord."

"Thank you," said Harry, shocked by the amount of information they had taken in. "That is all we needed to know."

He pointed his wand at Borgin, and before he could react, he whispered "Dennervate," and Borgin fell asleep.

They took Borgin and placed him outside of the shop. He would get arrested later that day for possesion of illegal dark objects.

"That was really brave of you, Harry, when you moved me out of the way of Borgin's curse," Hermione said to Harry, back inside the shop.

"I would do anything for you, Hermione," replied Harry confidently.

Hermione smiled. "Anything?"

Harry nodded. She drew him into a hug, which quickly turned into a kiss. When their lips met, Harry felt a blissful sensation. He didn't care that Hermione was his friend, that Ron was still lying unconscious, or that they were in a shop full of dark objects. He just wanted to be with her.

Hermione drew away from him and frowned. "Why did we do that?" she asked, wiping her lips.

"Because we love each other?" Harry suggested.

Hermione laughed warmheartedly. "I always had a crush on me, since we met. But you were too engrossed in your own problems."

"I'm sorry," admitted Harry.

"It's okay," consoled Hermione. "It was my fault too. I was too shy, to bookish. I never thought about love."

"I always thought you had a crush on Viktor Krum, or even Ron," expressed Harry.

"Viktor was cute," said Hermione, grinning. "But I couldn't relate to him. And Ron, he doesn't understand me like you do, Harry."

Speaking of Ron, he woke up suddenly, and rubbed his head. Then he groaned and went back to sleep. They looked at him for a second and continued on.

"So now are we officially going out?" said Harry suddenly. The thought would have been absurd a day ago, but now it seemed right.

"I guess we are," replied Hermione. "But promise me you won't tell Ginny about it."

"Or Ron."

"Or Ron," Hermione agreed. She gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. Ron woke up- actually woke up- a few minutes later.

"Aaaah wuzzgoinon?" he groaned. He looked around. "What're we going to do with the shop?" This brought Harry back down to Earth.

"I suppose call the Ministry to inform them of the dark objects in the shop," said Hermione.

"Brilliant idea, Hermione," said Harry,even though it was a rather ordinary idea. Hermione smiled.

After they dealt with Borgin's shop, Harry looked at his watch. They had spent nearly an hour since they left Fred and George's store.

"We'll have to get back- quick. Mrs. Weasley and the others are probably looking for us." They slipped on the invisibility cloak and sneaked back to Fred and George's store. Luckily for them, the others were still shopping.

Harry sighed in relief. He continued to be in a happy mood the rest of the day. Despite the fact that he had no idea what to do with Malfoy's scheme, and that there was a war going on in the wizarding world, he was not worried. He was with Hermione.

**Phew! Sorry about not getting the chapter in yesterday- my computer froze. Also please review! I am seeing all of you people visiting the story but are too lazy to review. I might not update the next chapter for a week until I get my first review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own HarryPotterWorld**

**WARNING: Mild sexual content.**

**Chapter 5**

Harry wanted to spend some time alone with Hermione over the next few days before school started, but it was impossible with the constant commotion of the Burrow house. Ron was constantly following him around, and he couldn't exactly tell his best mate to "get out". So Harry just accepted the fact that he had to wait to show his love for Hermione again. He started to focuse on the other big problem in his mind- Malfoy.

Harry had come up with a theory about Malfoy- it all made sense. He didn't want his arm to be touched at Madam Malkin's- to hide the dark mark. He was trying to get all these dark objects into the school. He threatened Borgin with "some of his friends." He was a Death Eater.

"Uh, duh, Harry. Borgin already told us that," said Hermione, when Harry told them of his theory.

"I can't imagine he's a very good one though," speculated Ron. "He probably is Voldemort's servant boy or something..."

"Harry!" said Hermione suddenly, the way she always did when she had an idea. "What if Malfoy's under the Imperius Curse?"

"Hermione, I don't think..."

"Even so, we have to help him at Hogwarts," Hermione continued. "We have to try to get him to change his mind, or the school could be in danger."

Harry didn't like the idea of helping his mortal enemy, but he supposed it had to be done.

Tomorrow morning, three Ministry cars arrived at the Burrow.

"Security arrangements for the journey to Hogwarts," Mr. Weasley explained to Harry, and he looked at his watch. "It's you they're trying to protect. Off we go now."

They packed their trunks and jumped into the cars. When they arrived at Kings' Cross Station, the Aurors escorted them into the train.

Harry and the others exchanged their partings, and Fleur even kissed Harry good-bye. Ron hurried forward, looking hopeful, but Ginny tripped him, leaving him sprawling at Fleur's feet. Angrily, he got up. Ginny then tried to kiss Harry good-bye, but this time it was Ron who tripped _her_. This may have turned into a huge sibling fight, except that the train was about to leave and they all had to hurry on.

Harry tried to follow Ron and Hermione to their compartment, but Hermione turned around and asked

"Harry? Why are you following us?"

"What?" said Harry, startled.

"We have to go to the prefects compartment. Well, see you then."

Harry headed back, depressed. He had wanted to sit with Ron and Hermione, or at least Hermione alone. He didn't really have any other real friends.

He settled down between Neville and Luna.

"Hi Harry!" said Neville brightly.

"Hi Neville, how are you?"

"I'm fine. My Gran was really proud of me after the Ministry event. She even bought me a new wand!"

Luna was busy reading the Quibbler with her Spectrespecs on.

"So, the Quibbler's still going strong?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes," said Luna serenely. "Daddy made a new edition about the dangers towards Crumple- Horned Snorckacks."

"I see," said Harry politely. He heard a group of 4th year girls giggling in the corner and muttering his name. One of them went straight up to the compartment.

"Hey Harry," she said, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I'm Romilda. Romilda Vane."

"So?" said Harry pointedly.

"We were wondering if you wanted to sit with us," she said. "You don't have to sit with them."

He would actually prefer to sit with this group of sexy girls than Neville and Luna, but he didn't want to let Neville and Luna down. Harry thought about saying something really lame like "They're my friends," but instead settled for

"I don't care if they are forgetful idiots or oddballs who believe in Wrackspurts, they're still my friends."

Romilda Vane left the compartment, embarrassed.

"That was really nice of you, Harry," Luna stated. He could not tell whether she was being sarcastic or not.

Harry was interrupted when someone gave him a letter:

_Harry, my boy,_

_I would be absolutely delighted if you would join me in Compartment C, for a long boring chat in which I make myself look well-connected to just about everyone. Refreshments are not included, although I myself will be eating quite a few crystallized pineapples! But don't get jealous (wink wink)!_

_Professor H. E. F. Slughorn_

Harry entered the compartment and was surprised to see Ginny, Neville, and Blaise Zabini, among others there. Professor Slughorn took up the center of the room and went into a long rant about how he met various Ministry people, how he had an affair with over 17 women, and how he tried (and failed) to go on a diet. All while serving himself enormous helpings of crystallized pineapple. Extremely bored, Harry slipped on his invisibility cloak and left.

For some reason, he decided to follow Malfoy into the Slytherin's compartment. He barely got himself in on time before Goyle slammed the door. It crushed his finger, and he uttered a small squeak of pain.

Malfoy was lying down with his head on Pansy Parkinson's boobs. Crabbe, Goyle, and Zabini were watching lazily.

"So what did Slughorn want?" Malfoy asked Zabini.

"Just trying to make up to some well-connected people," said Zabini. Malfoy scowled. "Malfoy, you're taking too long," Zabini said angrily. "I want a turn."

"Show some respect to your superiors, Blaise," sneered Malfoy. He squeezed Pansy's boobs.

"What do you mean?" asked Pansy suddenly, sitting up. "You mean you're actually working for- him?"

Malfoy just smiled triumphantly.

The train came to a halt. They had arrived at Hogwarts. Harry followed the other Slytherin's out of the compartment, under his Invisibility cloak. He accidently knocked over Goyle's trunk. Malfoy's eyes flickered towards him for a second, and he waited for the others to leave.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Malfoy shouted, pointing his wand at Harry. Harry froze and crumpled to the floor. Malfoy took off the cloak.

"I thought so," Malfoy sneered. He stamped on Harry's face hard. A sharp pain sliced Harry's nose; blood spurted everywhere.

"And that's for my father." Malfoy carefully covered Harry with the Invisibility Cloak, and left. Harry was trapped.

...

Harry lay frozen in the compartment. This was all his fault. Why did he have to follow that idiot? The train was bound to leave any second now. But the train did not move.

He saw someone get on the train. It was Tonks. She looked worse than ever. Tonks scanned all the compartments.

_"I'm over here!"_ Harry wanted to scream, but his mouth was frozen. Tonks walked past him and left the train.

In five minutes, the train started to move. How was he going to get to Hogwarts? How was he going to explain? To his enormous relief, Harry felt himself unfreeze. The train was now picking up speed. Harry impulsively searched his trunk for his broomstick. He opened the window, and jumped out.

He landed with a thud onto the ground, the cool night air surrounding him. Harry lifted himself onto the broom, and kicked off. He was soaring...flying in the darkness...the thrilling sensation overcame him. He passed the Whomping Willow, giving it good clearance. He flew over the moat. The front doors of Hogwarts were locked. Not thinking at all, Harry flew overhead the turrets and castle towers. Ron and Hermione were probably in the Great Hall now, wondering where he was. Harry flew straight through the Astronomy tower window, down the stairways and dived towards the Great Hall. Harry tried to stop himself, but he was going too fast...he was going to crash into the students...

Harry slammed straight into one of the tables. Ron and Hermione were staring at him as if they had gone into shock.

"Hey guys!" said Harry.

...

"Well, that was quite a dramatic entrance!" announced Hermione, her eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, mate, I have to say that even beats our adventure with the Whomping Willow!" added Ron. "What happened to your nose?"

Harry was suddenly aware of the stinging pain.

"I'll fix that," said Hermione. She drew her wand and pointed it at Harry's nose. It immediately felt better. She then said "Tergeo!" and wiped the blood off his glasses.

"Thank you, Hermione," said Harry. He could have kissed her right then and there, but Ron was still here.

Harry suddenly became aware that half the room was staring at him. He had arrived right after the Sorting Ceremony ended.

"Ahem," continued Dumbledore loudly. "We are pleased to welcome professor Horace Slughorn into our post of Potions Master. Professor Snape will take over the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher."

"No!" blurted out Ron among the general chaos.

There was commotion in the staff seats too.

"This cannot be, Albus, I only came to try out a new job!" protested Slughorn. "I'm tired of teaching potions!"

"Very well, Horace" agreed Dumbledore. "You will teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"This is outrageous, Dumbledore!" exclaimed Snape. "I have waited forever for this job! I cannot- "

"Severus," silenced Dumbledore. "Remember your promise." Snape opened his mouth to protest but sat down, his face still mad with rage.

Dumbledore turned towards the crowd. "There has been a slight change. Professor Slughorn will actually assume the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, while Professor Snape remains in Potions." Snape looked absolutely livid. "You may be wondering about the Aurors waiting around the school," continued Dumbledore. "This is necessary as a measure of heightened security in these dangerous times. In addition, there is to be no wandering around the grounds." He looked around at the crowd before going on. "Now, I think you all would like a well-deserved rest. Off to bed now! Pip Pip!" He clapped his hands.

Harry headed off to the dormitories gratefully, wishing for tomorrow nothing more than a normal school year.

**I can't wait to write the next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own HarryPotterWorld, though I badly wish I did.**

**WARNING: sexual content in later chapters**

**Chapter 6**

Harry and Ron met Hermione in the common room before breakfast next morning. Harry was eager to discuss Malfoy. He told them of what happened on the train.

"So what are we going to do about him?" he asked. "He definitely intends to carry out with his scheme."

"We'll have to talk to him," said Hermione simply. "We need to act like psychiatrists."

Harry wasn't eager on the idea of a heart-to-heart with his arch enemy.

"But Malfoy isn't exactly going to listen to the three people he hates most in the school," Harry protested.

"Ah," said Hermione. "This is where the Polyjuice potion comes in handy. Don't worry, I'll get it covered by next week." Harry felt another surge of admiration for Hermione, who he felt was the most responsible witch in the world.

"Harry, are you planning on telling Dumbledore that Malfoy is trying to kill him?" said Ron reasonably as he wolfed down a second pancake.

"Uh, yeah, I'll do that," said Harry. They were distracted when they saw McGonagall talking to students about their schedule. After dismissing a disappointed looking Neville Longbottom who was muttering something about "failing his gran", McGonagall turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Ms. Granger of course has got her schedule covered"- Hermione gave a little grin- "but what is worrying is you, Harry."

Harry looked at her, perplexed.

"I seem to recall you showing a strong determination to become an Auror," McGonagall reminded him.

"Yes," said Harry, "but I did not have a good enough grade to continue Potions.."

"Due to the mix-up, Dumbledore has convinced Professor Snape to allow students with Exceeds Expectations into his class. I suggest you give Potions another try, Harry, seeing that you have a free period in your schedule."

Harry signed up for Potions, somewhat fearful of what Snape would do to him. Ron, who followed Harry on nearly everything, also signed up for Potions.

...

It soon became clear to Harry that the teachers expected a much higher standard from the sixth years. In Professor Flitwick's class, they were practicing illusion charms, spells that not only distorted the mind of a person but created disturbances in the air. It required a great deal of concentration, and only Hermione (duh) could do a charm sufficient enough to make the apple appear twice it's size. Professor Flitwick fell off his desk in delight.

McGonagall got right to the point with a lecture about how NEWT classes were not to be used as relaxing time and that they all had to work harder than last year. She made them copy down theories of transforming living, breathing animals into other animals. Life magic was the most complex branch of Transfiguration. Once again, only Hermione knew what she was doing, and Harry and Ron copied her notes.

As Harry was walking on his way to Potions class, a burly, proud looking boy tapped him on the back.

"Are you Harry Potter?" he asked loudly. He held out his hand. Harry shook it exasperatedly.

"Nice to meet you," grunted the boy. "Listen, I heard you were Captain of the Quidditch team this year. I was wondering when you were going to hold tryouts."

"Um..." Harry had not thought about Quidditch at all. "Next Tuesday," he decided, and walked off. One thing was for certain- he planned on not having that boy on the team.

Professor Snape had assumed his regular position at the front of the class. He looked angrier than ever, and made no effort to give them prolonged explanations.

"I want you all to brew me each one one love potion NOW!" he screamed. "Open your textbooks. Whoever does not have the correct potion will meet me in detention. I'll be expecting you...Potter...Weasley." He sneered, then saw the class staring at him frightened and barked again "NOW!"

Harry and Ron did not have any textbooks as they had not planned to take the class, so Harry searched in the ingredients cupboard for books. There was one normal textbook, and one dirty ripped journal book. Harry picked it up purely out of curiosity.

The cover said "This book is the property of The Half Blood Oaf" Harry smirked. _Someone_ thought highly of themself.

They sat down and got out their cauldrons.

Harry opened up the "Half Blood Oaf" book. It was structured like the Potions textbook, although it had been scribbled all over with tiny instructions. He flipped to the page titled "Amortentia- Love Potion". The instructions were numbered messily:

**1. Ye gotta squeeze up te soppoporous bean with yer fingers.**

Harry took the bean, squeezed the juice out, and dumped it into the cauldron.

"Harry," reminded Hermione. "You're supposed to cut the bean up, not squeeze it!"

Harry shrugged and continued. The book's instructions were altered slightly than the normal textbook, but they seemed to produce better results. Harry's potion was now emitting a lovely smell that reminded him of fresh grass and parchment. He glanced at Hermione's. She was hastily stuffing ingredients in the cauldron.

Snape came over to inspect each of their potions. He came over to Ron's and retched, and then laughed cruelly at Seamus's. When he came over to Harry's potion he looked at Harry evilly for a moment, and then growled.

"Harry Potter. Is it really necessary to cheat again?" Snape mocked him. "You have no natural talent at all, so I can only conclude that you borrowed someone elses cauldron. Detention Saturday, Potter."

Harry felt like shouting at this unfairness, but before he could do anything Malfoy tripped and fell over his cauldron.

It was as if he were in slow motion- one second Malfoy was falling...the next thing Harry knew Snape was on the ground, supporting Malfoy.

"There, there," Snape soothed, patting Malfoy's back. "You'll be okay." Malfoy inched away from Snape, disgusted. Harry couldn't blame him.

Snape carried Malfoy's books for him out of class. Harry frowned. There was something very strange about Snape's behavior.

..

Hermione cornered Harry after class.

"Harry, I saw you following the instructions in that book in Potions class," she said. "There was no way you would have made that potion without it-"

"Honestly, Hermione-" protested Harry, but he was cut off.

"Snape's right. It's no better than cheating."

"Excuse me?" said a voice. "Did I hear someone talking about taking orders from a book?" Ginny appeared from the corner, a poisonous look in her eyes.

Harry couldn't take the onslaught from both his beloved Hermione and Ginny.

"Fine," he said. "I give up." He took the "Half Blood Oaf" book out of his bag and cleverly slipped it into Neville's bag. Harry was unaware of the consequences.

..

In Harry's mind, Professor Slughorn did not fit the ideal of a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. While Slughorn was not lacking in knowledge, he seemed way too _jolly _to capture the seriousness of the class.

Today Slughorn decided to teach the class about silent countercurses.

"Well, well, does anyone know the importance of using wordless magic?" he asked.

"Your opponent does not no what you are about to perform and thus gives you a split second advantage," recited Hermione.

"Well done," boomed Slughorn. "Exactly. Ha ha...can't imagine myself ever in such a...dangerous...situation, but well...you never know." He gave a nervous laugh. Then he proceeded into some lenghty story of a man he met who could utter a silent countercurse while he was in a coma. Slughorn then boasted about how he used to be a skilled dueler himself. Ron gave a little snort. Harry wryly thought that not even a blind man would be able to miss Slughorn with a spell- he took up nearly half of the room.

Harry and Hermione proceeded into the common room as usual. They were alone today, as most of the students were sitting outside and doing their homework.

"Where's Ron?" asked Harry.

"Oh, he's busy talking to Lavender and Parvati," said Hermione dismissively.

Harry raised his eyebrows. "He's barely said a word to them for five years."

"Well who knows?" said Hermione shrugging. "I'm glad we're alone at least." She grinned at Harry, and then took out her homework.

Harry, encouraged by her example, took out his Potions homework. Snape had required them to write a two page essay on the effect of acidic ingredients in healing potions.

Harry sighed. "Hermione?" he asked politely. "Can you do my essay?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry, that's cheating."

"Please?" Harry begged, fixing her with the puppy-eyed look he used to practice.

"Harry-" Hermione moaned, but he could tell she was smiling on the inside.

"I'll give you a hug," said Harry.

"Hmmm...maybe."

They wrapped their arms around each other. Hermione's warm body felt perfect around Harry's. He wanted to hold her there forever.

"Now also give me a kiss, and it's a deal," suggested Hermione. And so Harry did. Harry's lips found Hermione's, his toungue even entered her mouth, and they closed their eyes... they shared the passionate moment for nearly a minute. Hermione withdrew, licking her lips, and she stared straight into Harry's eyes.

Then she picked up the essay, and started writing on it, not wasting a second.

"Thanks Hermione," whispered Harry in her ear. "I love you."

**I promise the next chapter will have some great moments- including Harry's strange methods for Quidditch tryouts!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**WARNING: Sexual content**

**Chapter 7**

Hermione was standing on his bed, completely naked, her tits hanging over Harry. Harry cradled her in her arms...Harry felt the pressure building in between his thighs...he held Hermione's legs and..

Ouch! Hermione had slapped him.

"Harry! Wake up, you have to start the tryouts!" a voice bellowed.

Tryouts? Harry rubbed his eyes and looked up. Ron was standing over him.

"Are you the Quidditch captain of not? Mate, people are waiting on the field for you," Ron reminded him.

"Oh...right," Harry mumbled, and got out of bed.

Harry and Ron dashed out to the Quidditch field. There were many more people than Harry thought would tryout waiting for him. He recognized that some of them were not even Gryffindors. They were probably just coming to see the _famous Harry Potter_, he thought.

"ALL RIGHT!" Harry bellowed, now that everyone was staring at him. "Anyone who is NOT a Gryffindor, get the fuck out!"

They all stared at him as if he was an angry troll, and cleared out. Good, thought Harry. He wanted to make an impression on them that he was a tough Quidditch Captain, not just some frightened "Boy who Lived."

Harry planned on doing the tryouts a little different from normal. He saw Hermione in the stands, a notebook in her hands, and winked at her. She nodded back. Harry rubbed his hands together as he prepared to address the crowd. He was ready to begin.

"I expect all of you here to be 100% serious about Quidditch." He scanned his eyes through the group. He saw Ginny, Dean, the burly kid whose name was Cormac McLaggen, Katie Bell, Ron, and others...

"Now, Quidditch is not just a game," he instructed. "It is a way of life." Harry picked up a quaffle from the bag and tossed it around on his fingers.

"A Quidditch player must have great reflexes," he said, and hurled the quaffle at Ron's stomach. Ron caught the ball square on, and grinned as if surprised. Harry glanced at Hermione. She was busy taking notes. Staring at Ron, Harry then threw the quaffle top speed at McLaggen behind his back. McLaggen barely deflected it in time with his hands covered over his face. Harry glanced at Hermione. She was busy taking notes.

"A Quidditch player must know how to fly." He turned to Dean and Ginny. "Pick up your brooms both of you. You're going to play tag. Ginny is it. GO!" He blew his whistle and they flew off into the air. Ginny chased Dean around the stadium in circles, and caught up to him near the goal post. Dean attempted to do a flip underneath Ginny, but she tagged him before. Harry glanced at Hermione. She was busy taking notes.

"A Quidditch player must know how to beat the ball," stated Harry. He turned to Jimmy Peakes and Susan Bones, who were trying out for beaters. "Get out your bats!" Harry searched for a bunch of random objects in his pocket, including a pair of Uncle Vernon's socks, and threw it at them. They hit most of the objects with the bat spot on. Both of them were good beaters. Harry was a bit anxious about having a girl as a beater at first, but Susan could really slam that bat. Harry glanced at Hermione. She was busy taking notes.

Now the real Quidditch tryouts started. The chasers had a great performance, and Harry accepted Ginny, Dean, and a 3rd year named Demelza onto the team. For the beaters he got Susan and Jimmy Peakes. Now, for the keepers tryouts. The best keepers proved to be McLaggen and Ron. Harry badly wanted Ron on the team, but McLaggen seemed intent on beating him. Both had saved 4 out of 4 goals right now, and McLaggen went up to the post. He missed the quaffle completely. When it was Ron's turn, Ginny threw the ball towards the post, and Ron stretched out and caught it. He was on the team.

There was a lot of sudden cheering from the stands. Harry looked up, expecting to see Hermione, but instead saw Parvati Patil holding up a "WE LUV U RON!" sign. Ron looked up at her and grinned. Ron started walking with something that looked like a strut. Harry repressed the urge to laugh.

McLaggen was furious.

"That's bloody unfair!" he shouted. "He cheated! His sister went soft on him!"

"That's enough!" settled Harry. McLaggen stomped off.

"Great job!" said Harry to the new team members. "There are three rules for our Gryffindor team. 1. When there is a problem, listen to the captain. He is always right. 2. When you are discussing strategies, listen to the captain. He is always right. 3. Always kick Slytherin's butt." And then they all let out a Gryffindor battle cry.

Harry was going to congratulate Ron, but he had gone off with Parvati, so he instead went to talk to Hermione.

"You're a really good Captain, Harry," said Hermione. "But don't be _too_ harsh on them."

"I'll try not to," laughed Harry. "But I won't risk losing to Malfoy again." He paused.

"Speaking of Malfoy," he asked her. "What is your plan?"

"We're going to use the Polyjuice to turn into Slytherins and talk to Malfoy in his common room. Unfortunately I will need another couple of weeks or so before the potion is ready."

"I can wait," said Harry, relieved.

...

After Transfiguration class, a firstyear girl approached Harry in the hallway.

"Um..are you Harry Potter?" she squeaked.

"Yes."

"Professor Dumbledore told me to give this to you," she said. She handed him a letter. Harry grasped it and said "thank you".

_Harry,_

_Come to my office today at 5:00 for our first lesson._

_Regards,_

_Headmaster Dumbledore_

_P.S.- I enjoy acid pops_

"I enjoy acid pops," repeated Harry dully. Then it hit him. It must be Dumbledore's password.

"You do?" asked Ron, appearing at his side. "Funny, I always thought you were more of a cockroach cluster type of guy." He peered at the letter. "What's that?"

"I'm taking private lessons with Dumbledore," Harry told him.

Ron looked impressed.

...

Snape's classes were becoming more and more ridiculous. Not only was Snape showing an extreme degree of helpfulness towards Malfoy (he picked up Malfoy's potion ingredients for him in fear that he would hurt himself), Neville Longbottom was excelling in class.

No doubt, the Half Blood Oaf book was helping Neville, but only Harry knew. It was driving Snape crazy whenever Neville produced another fabulous potion. When Hermione readily proved that Neville wasn't cheating, Snape started attributing Neville's success to beginner's luck.

As Snape said, "every idiot has his day."

...

Harry arrived in Dumbledore's office a few minutes late. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, examining his pensieve. He caught sight of Harry and nodded warmly.

"Ah, Harry."

"Good evening, professor," replied Harry.

"Yes, the weather is excellent. A perfect day to begin our very first lesson." Harry noticed that Dumbledore covered up his blackened, shriveled up hand.

"Uh, sir?" he asked. "What happened to your hand?"

"That is a story for another time," said Dumbledore. "Right now, we must focuse on the present." He leaned in towards Harry.

"Harry, do you remember how I have often talked that you have a great power to love?"

Harry nodded.

"Now I must tell you," Dumbledore continued,"that I was not just saying that to make you proud. You have an actual, tangible, power to love."

Harry sighed. "Professor, c'mon, I don't have any _powers_. It's just a mental thing."

"No, Harry," stated Dumbledore gravely. "Do you recall in your first year when you burned Quirrell's skin as he tried to get the Stone? What if I told you you could control that power?"

"Are you serious?" blurted out Harry, regarding Dumbledore intently.

"No, I'm Albus," said Dumbledore, frowning. Dumbledore got up and started pacing the room. "Harry, I want you to do an expirement." Harry looked at him warily. "I want you to think of the happiest, most loving thoughts you can think of, like a Patronus."

"Okay," said Harry.

"Then I want you to draw your wand- without uttering a word- and point it at me, chanelling your emotions."

Harry nodded. He thought of his happiest thoughts- he thought of his mother and father, of Hogwarts school, of Sirius, Hagrid, Ron,...and Hermione, especially Hermione...and he pointed his wand at Dumbledore.

At once, a dreamy expression appeared on Dumbledore's face. Dumbledore started to prance around the room, saying "warm wooly socks" and smiling pleasantly.

"Professor?-" started Harry, bewildered, but was cut out when Dumbledore went and gave Harry a hug.

"STOP!" Harry shouted. Dumbledore blinked. He let go of Harry and peered at him triumphantly.

"So it worked," pondered Dumbledore. Harry himself was feeling dazed at his own powers.

"Perhaps...if it can work on me...it can work on your worst enemies as well..." suggested Dumbledore, with a glint in his blue eyes. "Even the darkest, most evil wizard would give in to your power..."

Harry could not believe what Dumbledore was suggesting.

"Are you saying," he started," that I should make Voldemort love?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore.

Harry burst out into crazy laughter for five minutes. Finally Dumbledore asked, annoyed

"Are you done?"

Harry nodded, but he couldn't surpress a tiny giggle.

Dumbledore looked straight at Harry. "Yes, you must use your love powers on Voldemort. Because Voldemort has hidden his soul in different horcruxes, only one option remains. It is the only way to destroy him."

...

**Authors note: Thanks badkidoh for your reviews! I appreciate it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Please do not accuse me of owning Harry Potter. I do not own it. I am merely a small hitchhiker feeding off of JK Rowling's work.**

**WARNING: Sexual content**

**Chapter 8**

Ron recieved an edition of the Daily Prophet at breakfast this morning. He ripped up the envelope and opened up to the front page. He gasped.

The headline said "**Death Eaters Attack Village in Winchester**".

Harry read the article. "Eleven muggles killed in an attack on a small village in Wincester. Bodies showed no sign of damage, clear evidence of a killing curse..."

"That's horrible!" exclaimed Hermione. "Killing muggles just for fun!"

"It gets worse," Ron warned her, and flipped over the page.

The headline read "Dolores Umbridge Appointed Undersecretary to Minister of Magic"

There was an interview underneath it by Rita Skeeter. _"When I first met Dolores Umbridge, I was amazed by her general kind demeanor. She welcomed me warmly and poured me a sip of tea. As we chatted, I could tell despite her easygoing manner, she was a woman to be taken seriously..."_

Harry stopped reading in disgust.

"Why would they appoint that evil sadistic _bitch!" _he roared.

"Harry, calm down," urged Hermione, as people were staring across the table at him.

But Harry could not calm down. As he stared at the smiling, giggling picture of Umbridge in her pink cardigan, the scars on the back of his hand burned ever so strongly.

...

Professor Slughorn kept trying to get Harry's attention. After class on Wednesday, he cornered Harry.

"Harry, my boy!" Slughorn boomed. "Why don't you come to my Slug Club party tomorrow? After all, you are my highest worth collector's item- I mean, student."

"I'm sorry, Professor. I have lessons with Dumbledore," Harry lied.

"Oho!" excliamed Slughorn. "Well, you can't avoid me forever!" He gave Harry a hearty pat on the back and left.

'_Phew_' Harry mouthed to Ron.

...

Hermione arrived in the Common Room later that night in a great excitement.

"Okay," she panted. "The Polyjuice Potion is ready. I have the hairs."

"Who?" asked Harry, excited.

"I got one of Zabini and one of Pansy Parkinson."

"Not Crabbe and Goyle?" questioned Ron.

"Well, I wondered about them, but they seem to be more of Malfoy's bodyguards than actual conversationers," replied Hermione. "I was doing my Prefect duties, patrolling the third floor, when I saw Zabini and Pansy Parkinson talking to each other. I used a sleeping charm to put them both to sleep and stole their hairs. I hid them in the Room of Requirement. They should be waking up in about an hour."

"That's brilliant Hermione!" said Harry.

"Yeah, but hold on," said Ron. "That's only hair from two people." Harry felt like saying "duh", but Hermione spoke up.

"Yes, unfortunately, only two of us can go. I'll stay-"

"No," interrupted Ron. "I'll stay behind. I don't mind. I was planning on talking to Parvati, anyway." Harry looked at him, surprised. Ron was usually jealous when he had to stay behind.

"Right," said Hermione, clearing her throat. "Harry, we should head into the Prefects' bathroom to change."

"Why not the girls' bathroom?" asked Harry, as they rounded up the stairs.

"Honestly, Harry," Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes. "We could be seen there. Plus, you're not to eager on the idea of Myrtle seeing you naked, are you?"

They opened the door to the spacious Prefects bathroom. Hermione took out a flask of Polyjuice potion from her coatpocket and handed it to Harry. She dropped the hairs into the flask.

"Here," she said, holding one flask out to him. "You take Zabini's."

"Can I have Parkinson's?" he asked innocently. "I want to see how it feels to be a girl."

"Oh all right Harry," Hermione groaned, and they swapped potions.

Harry drank the murky brown liquid and headed inside the stall. It tasted of rotting flowers. Harry felt a most unpleasant bubbling feeling in his stomach. He felt himself decreasing in height...hair shot out of his head, and he got considerably chubbier, especially around his chest and his butt. There was also a strange emptiness without having a package constantly hanging between his legs.

Hermione came out of the stall first, completely transformed into the tall, menacing Zabini.

"Aaarrgh!" she muttered. "How you guys deal with the such uncomfortable things hanging beneath your legs is beyond me." As if to prove her point, she adjusted her- er Blaise's- balls to the left. She was clearly more comfortable displaying Blaise Zabini's body than her own.

"Okay," Harry said, trying to feel motivated. "Into the dungeons we go."

They arrived at the Slytherin common room. Malfoy was already there, lying down on a sofa and reading a book. He looked up at Pansy and Blaise.

"What took you guys so long?" he demanded.

"I was in detention with McGonagall," replied Hermione briskly.

"I...um...was also in detention...with McGonagall," Harry made up. Hermione raised her eyebrows at him and Harry gave her a look that conveyed 'I'm trying'.

Malfoy frowned. "Blaise, why don't you head back up to your dormitories?" he asked. "Me and Pansy have some...ah...catching up to do on our relationship." He gave Harry a saucy wink.

Harry felt his stomach shift uncomfortably. He knew what Malfoy was referring to. This was getting out of control. Something had to be done- and quick.

"Oh no, I suddenly don't feel so well Draco!" Harry stammered in Pansy's voice. "I think we shouldn't do anything today. I'll go to sleep early." Another pathetic escape, thought Harry.

Malfoy looked disappointed, so Hermione took the opportunity to strike. "Draco?" she asked. "There is something important you must know."

"What?" yawned Malfoy.

"Dumbledore knows about your plan to kill him," stated Hermione. "I heard him talking to Flitwick about it." Harry had to admit, Hermione was an impressive liar.

"What?" yelled Malfoy, startled. "How could he have found out, the snooping devil?!" He started pacing the room. "But I must still carry out the plan, at least! Or The Dark Lord will kill me. I'll think of a different idea."

"NO!" Hermione protested. "Just abandon the plan, okay? We'll deal with it."

Malfoy stared at her, confused. "What is up with you today, Blaise? Have you gone soft or something?" But Harry had secretly drawn out his wand, and was channelling a small amount of his love-induced magic into Malfoy.

Malfoy suddenly relaxed and a dull smile appeared on his face. "Oh yes. You'll take care of it."

"What?" said Hermione abruptly, but she seemed to accept it. Malfoy started reading his book again.

Harry suddenly noticed something on Hermione's face. Her black hair was getting lighter- the polyjuice was running out. Harry pointed frantically at her hair. Hermione got the cue.

"I have to go use the restroom!" she screamed suddenly, and hurried out of the common room.

"Erm- me too!" added Harry on the way out. Another lame excuse, he thought. But at least Malfoy was too drugged with the love magic to notice.

...

"That was close!" panted Hermione, when they arrived in the restrooms to change.

"You really saved me there, Hermione," Harry said truthfully.

Hermione blushed.

...

When they got to the common room, it was dark outside. Most of the people were snoring in their dormitories. But as they rounded the corner, they noticed Ron and Parvati were embraced together in a full-blown kiss. When Ron saw them, he let go of Parvati, embarassed.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"I don't care, mate," said Harry brightly.

Harry had been somewhat expecting Ron and Parvati to kiss, and to his relief, Hermione appeared not to be bothered by it either.

He and Hermione walked out of earshot of Ron and Parvati, holding hands.

"It's refreshing to see a little love in this world, despite dark times," Harry remarked.

"Spoken like a true Potter," said Hermione, and she kissed him on the cheek. Harry felt a little tingle.

"I was wondering if there was anywhere private where we could um..."

"Snog until we drop?" suggested Harry.

"I was thinking more along the lines of show our affection towards each other."

Harry laughed.

But as Hermione headed towards the girl dormitories, Harry realized there was no place really private in Hogwarts. The school was packed with students and teachers...

And then...Of course!

How could he forget the Room of Requirement?

**Stay tuned!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter world.**

**Chapter 9**

Neville came up to Harry the next day in Transfiguration. He was holding up the "Half Blood Oaf" book.

"Here," he said, tossing it into Harry's hands. "You take it back. I can't handle it."

Harry was perplexed. "But Neville, you got perfect grades with this book."

"Really," Neville, protested, giving Harry a pained look. "I can't deal with all the attention from Snape."

Harry took the book back, but he knew something was wrong with Neville. Only later did he realize that he had never told Neville that he gave him the book.

Harry sidled up over to Ron and Hermione as class started.

"So, Ron," he chatted. "What's the reason for you liking Parvati lately?"

"Well...she's nice," listed Ron, as he unsuccessfully tried to turn his candlestick into a frog.

"And?" prompted Hermione.

Ron shifted uncomfortably. "She laughs at my jokes," he got out, turning red.

"And?" pressed Hermione.

"She's beautiful."

"Aha!" said Hermione, triumphantly. "I knew it! Typical of boys, only thinking about the looks of a girl..."

"That's completely unfair!" shouted Ron, and Harry had to agree with him on this one.

"Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley, concentrate on your work!" bellowed McGonagall, and Ron and Hermione went back to transfiguring the candlestick.

Ron couldn't help but adding "Girls aren't any better. They only go for the famous boys...Hermione went out with Krum, and then Harry..."

"What do you mean, Harry?" Hermione said sharply. "We're just friends, that's all!"

"I know there's something between you two.." Ron said smugly.

"Hmmmph!" grunted Hermione, and she turned around angrily.

Hermione and Ron's relationship was rocky for the rest of the week. They tried to avoid speaking to each other, except both wanted to talk to Harry about their problems about the other. Harry's main concern was that Hermione was so angry she was not snogging him as often.

One day she came back from her class ranting

"Do you know what Ron was saying? He went on about how he gets left out all the time because me and you are always together. He already has a girlfriend! Why does he care?! He needs to learn to stop caring about other peoples' relationships!"

"Hermione," interupted Harry. "Can't you just let it go?" Harry knew that Ron had his jealousy bouts, and Hermione took them too seriously.

"No, I cannot let it go!" spat Hermione. Then her voice softened. "But incidentally, Harry, _you _need to be careful. I overheard Romilda Vane talking about slipping you a love potion through food."

Hermione's suspicions proved correct, when Harry caught sight of Romilda and her usual group of giggling girls talking about a love potion.

Finally, Romilda came up to Harry, her friends giggling madly.

"Hey, Harry, fancy a chicken wrap?" she asked, holding out a sushi instead.

"Ewww," said Harry. "That looks disgusting."

"Just try it!" insisted Romilda. "It's not as bad as it looks!"

"I'm vegetarian," lied Harry.

"Oh," said Romilda, disappointed, and she slumped away.

Hermione giggled once they were out of earshot. "Harry, you're one of the biggest carnivores I've ever seen!"

"True," said Harry grinning. "You know, I've always wondered why you're not vegetarian, Hermione. You're so much into equal rights for all creatures, starting S.P.E.W. and everything...It's kind of remarkable you are so willing to slaughter all these innocent animals-"

"Harry," Hermione interrupted.

"What?" he said, acting innocent.

"Shut up." But he saw a smile on Hermione's face for the first time that week.

...

It was not Harry's first time in a Quidditch practice, but it was his first time coaching it. Harry prided himself on being an even stricter Captain than Wood.

The team was piecing together fairly smoothly. The three chasers cooperated with each other well, and Ginny and Dean were an unstoppable duo. The beaters were solid players and always knew what to do.

The only problem was Ron. He had always been a talented player, but he tended to freeze up in big moments. His added tension this week with Hermione was not helping either. Ron kept on yelling at himself every time he made a mistake, and then started yelling the others too.

Finally Harry could not bear it any longer. "Ron, I know you're my best mate, but if you continue acting like this, we'll kick you off the team."

Harry had expected Ron to retort, but instead he slumped dejectedly.

"Fine," Ron muttered. "I'll get off the team. I'm no use anyway."

"No- Ron, I didn't mean it," Harry stammered. Then Harry had an idea- an idea not only to bring Ron's mood up, but improve his cooperation with the entire team. The idea felt kind of awkward to Harry, but using love magic on a friend did not alter their mind, just improved their emotions.

"Ron, you're still on the team," said Harry. "Just improve your attitude." Harry tapped into his love magic and gave a small dose to Ron, without even using his wand. Ron blinked.

For the remainder of the Quidditch practice, Ron was extremely cheerful. He smiled when he missed the quaffle, and congratulated everyone else on their great playing. He even went so far as carrying the balls back to the field.

No one suspected a thing. Harry's legend as a Quidditch captain was growing.

...

When Harry arrived at Dumbledore's office, it was deserted. Why hadn't the headmaster been expecting him? Had he come at the wrong time? Worried, Harry wandered off to the back of the office to sneak a look at some of the magical objects Dumbledore collected, when a voice echoed behind him.

"Found me, yet, Harry?"

Harry whirled around. Dumbledore was standing directly behind him; he must have been following Harry the entire time silently.

"Professor, that's creepy!" exclaimed Harry.

"You will have to learn to always be aware of your surroundings," whispered Dumbledore, stepping away. "It is something that you have always been, forgive me, rather mediocre in."

Dumbledore smiled and sat down. "Have you been practicing your love magic, Harry?"

"Yes, Professor."

"I thought so," mused Dumbledore. "Ron has not been quite the same. Now...close your eyes...and think of joyous memories...we will practice by meditating."

And so Harry found himself sitting on the floor and meditating with Albus Dumbledore. The day had been very strange, thought Harry, but this tops it all. After five minutes of unsuccessful attempts at seeping into his subconcious, Dumbledore rose off the ground.

"Now Harry," he said. "Do you remember how I mentioned that you must use your love magic on Voldemort to destroy him?"

Harry nodded.

"Using such powerful magic takes a very long time," continued Dumbledore, popping a lemon drop into his mouth. "Which makes it necessary to capture Voldemort."

Again, Harry burst out into laughter. "Capture, _Voldemort? _Professor, we're talking about the darkest wizard of all time. He's not going to be just waiting in a candy shop for us."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "Ah...but there are some individuals in Howgwarts who could provide information on his whereabouts."

"Who in Hogwarts would possibly kn-" burst Harry, but Dumbledore held up a hand.

"You have often wondered, Harry," he said. "Why I have employed Severus Snape?"

**Authors Note: I appreciate reviews, but it would also be helpful if you did not review the same thing every time. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter characters and their world.**

**WARNING: Sexual content**

**Chapter 10**

Over the next few days Ron was back to his usual cheerful self, due to a combination of snogging with Parvati, a reduction in homework, and a little help in Quidditch practice. Due to this, Hermione and Harry's mood also improved, and their relationship blossomed.

When he was eating lunch one day, someone handed him a letter. He ripped it opened. It looked worn out and tearstained.

_Harry, Ron, Hermione_

_I know ye guys are relly busy wit' yer schedule, and all and ye don' even hav' time ter visit me. But this is important. I can' believe it but Aragog's dyin'. He was my bes' companion, so I hope ye guys understand. He hasn' been eating any food' at all and I relly want ye guys to see him one las' time._

_Thanks,_

_Hagrid_

"He can't expect us to really care about that beast, can he?" asked Ron. "It tried to kill me once."

"Ron," scolded Hermione. "Show some feelings for a change. Hagrid's probably devastated. We've got to come, we've been really unfair to him."

Ron grumbled. Harry wasn't too eager to meet a tearful, on the verge of despair Hagrid, but he supposed it had to be done. Hagrid was their friend, and they couldn't just abandon him, no matter how many of his beasts almost killed them.

_()()())()(_

That night, Hermione was sitting in the common room doing Harry's History of Magic homework just for her own entertainment. Harry gazed upon her detailed writing.

"You really are even more of a genius than I thought," said Harry admiringly, caressing her cheek.

"Thanks, Harry," she said. She bit her lip as she often did when she was thinking.

"I was wondering..." she spoke, "If we should try out that Room of Requirement idea you suggested?"

"Sure, why not?" asked Harry. His heart was racing.

They headed up towards the third floor. There were not many students there. Harry walked through the halls until he reached the point he was looking for. He stopped.

"It's here." Harry started thinking of something to open the doors. _I need to be alone with Hermione. I need to snog Hermione._ It did not work. _I need to have sex with Hermione, _he thought intensely, then scolded himself for his dirty thoughts. The doors swung open.

Inside the room was a large comfortable looking bed. Harry sat down and stretched his aching legs, and then suddenly Hermione pounced on him. She grabbed his arms and forced him down on the bed, and started kissing him.

"Hermione!" burst out Harry, astounded, as she cut him off with a kiss on the lips. Hermione ripped off Harry's robes, muttering about them being so ill-fitting...

"I'm sorry, Harry," she said, "but I can't hold it in any longer. I've been waiting for you and me- to do this- for a long time." And she started kissing Harry's bare, and not very well muscled, chest. Harry wrapped her arms around her and returned a kiss to her forehead. After some time, Harry said

"Hermione, why don't you take your shirt off too? It's only equal that way."

Harry was shocked at his own boldness, and he half expected Hermione to reject the idea. But instead she agreed.

"You're right, Harry," said Hermione. "It _is _only fair." And she took her shirt too, revealing a smooth, curved body that made Harry's mouth water. He started to feel a pressure in his dick. She then even took her blue bra off, struggling with it a little, before revealing her breasts. Harry stared at her medium-sized beautiful mounds and his hand subconciously inched forward.

"Can I touch them?" Harry spluttered, realizing how childish he sounded. Hermione nodded, and Harry fondled her tits. They were so soft...he could play with them forever. Harry's dick was now straining to escape its enclosure. Hermione noticed this and moved her hands to the zip on his trousers..

"Wait!" she said, taking her hand away. "I have to use a contraceptive charm on you, just in case."

Harry gulped. "We're not actually having sex-"

"I know," soothed Hermione quickly. "But it's best to be careful." Hermione drew out her wand and sighed. "Harry, you're going to have to take out your penis for the charm to work."

"What- oh, yeah" sputtered Harry, unzipping his pants. This felt like a dream...he gratefully released his rigid dick. Hermione stared at it, almost transfixed for a moment before pointing her wand at it.

"Right," she said. "Conpregnatus!" A silvery light surrounded itself around Harry's penis. It gave off a powdery feel and made him shiver.

Just then, the door slammed open.

Standing in the entrance was Professor Trelawney.

()()()

"What the?!" gasped Harry, his jaw dropping.

"Aacck! Professor, SORRY!" panted Hermione, as she struggled to cover up her bare body.

Professor Trelawney had a somewhat amused expression on her large eyes. "The fates did not inform me of your presence," she said dreamily. She gazed upon Harry. "Nor did they inform me that you would be naked!"

Harry suddenly realized that he was still standing naked, his erection pointing directly at Professor Trelawney. Blushing intensely, he fastened on his robes.

"Professor Trelawney?" asked Hermione, regaining her confidence. "May I ask you what you are doing here?"

"I should ask _you _what you are doing!" cried Professor Trelawney indignantly. She paused and spoke softly. "I just wished to obtain some of the-ah sherry bottles I deposited here." She glared at Hermione suspicously.

"In fact, you were not the only ones I stumbled upon here," mused Professor Trelawney. Harry looked at her, interested. "Why, just last week, I came upon Draco Malfoy. He was crying about something like the Dark Lord was going to kill him, or something like that-"

"Malfoy thinks Voldemort is going to kill him if he can't kill Dumbledore!" Harry exclaimed. "And we'd said we would take care of the issue for him!"

Trelawney looked at him, annoyed. "I think I ought to go," she said. "I have work to catch up to."

She swayed out of the entrance. On the way, she added to Hermione "The Inner Eye informed me what a nice body you have, but I was still pleasantly surprised."

Harry looked at Hermione. "Well, that was embarrassing," he said, taking hold of her hand. They lay down in the bed, talking to each other about their feelings for a good half an hour or so. Finally, around 9:00 or so, Hermione headed back to her dorm room.

"G'Night, Hermione," Harry said, giving her a light kiss.

"G'Night Harry."

Harry headed into the boys' dormitories, yawning. Dean and Seamus were sitting eagerly on their beds, talking to Ron. Ron had a somewhat proud yet embarrassed look on his freckled face.

"Hey Harry," greeted Seamus.

"Hey Seamus. What's up?"

Ron opened his mouth to answer, but Seamus was too quick for him.

"Ron here was telling us about how he had sex with Lavender," said Seamus matter-of-factly.

"You-WHAT?" exclaimed Harry. Ron's face reddened.

"Well, it kind of escalated from the start."

"Tell Harry the whole story, from the beginning," prompted Dean.

Ron shifted uncomfortably. "Well, Parvati and I were kissing-"

"I would describe it more as eating each others' faces-" snorted Seamus.

"In the common room," continued Ron, too embarassed to retort. "Parvati suggested we find somewhere private, so we moved to the prefects' bathroom. We started-erm- touching each other...and one thing led to another...and well..." he shrugged.

"And you didn't use a contraceptive charm?" asked Harry, groaning in his head.

Ron shook his head. Harry sighed. This could lead to a lot of trouble.

Seamus and Dean started talking about Dean's relationship with Ginny. Harry clapped a confused looking Ron on the back and collapsed onto his bed.

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I was busy :( I am also sorry if this chapter was too much sex stuff, I will have more plot in the next one. Don't worry.**

**Also PLEASE DO NOT POST THE SAME REVIEW EVERY TIME! It makes me write slower. Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Harry Potter characters and their world.**

**Chapter 11**

Harry trudged into Dumbledore's office the next afternoon.

"Good to see you Harry," said Dumbledore casually, humming gently. "I suppose you have gotten the information of Voldemort's whereabouts from Professor Snape?"

Harry's face fell. "Uh...sorry Professor," he mumbled. "I was busy."

Dumbledore gave him a saucy wink, that made Harry's insides squirm. "I know, I know," Dumbledore said knowingly.

Dumbledore then sighed and got up. "Harry- I am not angry at you- but that information is very vital...without it, we cannot continue with our plan. Until then, I have nothing more to say to you." Dumbledore swiftly got up to leave.

"Wait!" called Harry, remembering something. "Professor, I have to tell you something!"

Dumbledore turned around and raised his eyebrows.

"Um..you see, Draco Malfoy was ordered by Voldemort to kill you...and unless he somehow succeeded, Voldemort would kill him and his family..."

"Go on," prompted Dumbledore, not looking surprised.

"Me and Hermione, we talked Malfoy out of carrying out with his plan, but...now, well, he's upset that Voldemort is going to kill him..." explained Harry. "Not that I care for Malfoy," he added quickly.

Dumbledore nodded understandingly. "It seems quite simple. I will have to fake my death to the Death Eaters."

Harry gasped. "But HOW?"

Dumbledore held up a hand. "Do not worry. I will take care of that. Your task is to deal with Snape." And again, he got up. "Can I trust you Harry, to wait in my room without touching my belongings, while I go run a quick errand with Minerva?" he asked.

Harry nodded.

Dumbledore left the room, leaving Harry alone to his own thoughts.

Harry knew at once what he was going to do. The last time he had been left in Dumbledore's office was in his fourth year, where he had gotten sucked into the pensieve. He wanted to see the pensieve again...It was interesting to peer in at Dumbledore's deepest memories, to know that such a wise man too had a beginning.

Harry approached the basin full of the swirling grey mist and plunged his finger in. He was enveloped by the white mist and found himself sinking downwards.

He was standing in a flowery meadow across from a small village. There was a medium-sized gray cottage nearby, and the smell of cooking wafted from the window. Birds chirped loudly overhead, and as Harry inched closer, he could see two boys talking to each other. The first boy had auburn hair, a sharp nose, and piercing blue eyes. With a shock, Harry recognized him as a younger Dumbledore, probably a year or two older than him. Harry wanted to introduce himself, but he knew they could not hear or see him. The other boy had a merry, handsome face and wavy blond hair. He inched closer, to listen in on their conversation.

"We'll get ourselves into a controversy trying to gather them all up, Gellert," Dumbledore was saying. But naturally, it's all-"

"For the greater good!" recited the other boy, whose name was apparently Gellert. (Just like the dark wizard Grindelwald, thought Harry.)

Dumbledore smiled at him in an all too loving way, and held his hand. They sat down on the grass. "You know, I wish I could run away from my family and just stay with you," wished Dumbledore longingly.

"I do too," admitted Gellert, they moved closer to each other. Harry was feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"I love you," Gellert whispered in Dumbledore's ear, and they drew their lips together in a kiss.

Harry ran away. This was too much, too absurd. First of all, it was so creepy and _wrong_ to see Dumbledore not as an old, bearded man. And in addition, Dumbledore was kissing another man. The fact that _Dumbledore_ was kissing someone was even more shocking to Harry than the fact that he was gay.

Thankfully for Harry, the scene in the Pensieve shifted.

Harry appeared in a wizarding clothing shop. There were all sorts of clothing hanging around the iles. Instead of workers there were only customers, and the clothes were brightening and rearranging themselves by magic.

Someone entered the room suddenly. It was auburn-haired Dumbledore. He was smiling and wearing a turquoise-magenta striped robe. He approached the shopkeeper straightforwardly.

"Ah, it is good to see you again," said Dumbledore, taking off his hat in respect to shopkeeper. "I was wondering if you had a supply of any warm, wooly fuzzen socks. My feet have been feeling rather cold lately."

"I'm sorry," said the shopkeeper. "We don't sell socks here."

Dumbledore looked dumbfounded. He struggled to contain his bubbling fury, and muttered to himself "Don't have socks, don't have socks?!" Dumbledore approached the shopkeeper threateningly. "Where the FU-"

"I do not think you need to see this," interupted a voice loudly.

Harry found himself falling out of the Pensieve's swirling mist to be standing in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was facing him, not looking angry, but painfully disappointed.

"I'm sorry Professor-" Harry started, but Dumbledore cut him off.

"I do not need any apologies," he said stonily. "You had no right to see that."

"I didn't mean-"

"There is nothing more to discuss," replied Dumbledore. "Until next time, Harry."

And with that, Harry left the room.

()()()()()()()()()()

Over the next few days, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were busy formulating a plan to get the information out of Snape. None of their ideas seemed to be realistic, however. There was one obvious flaw in the plan in Harry's mind.

He voiced his opinion in Charms Class. "How are we going to know if Snape is lying or not?"

"Harry, isn't it obvious?" said Hermione said, in her cute yet irritating way. "Veritaserum."

"Verita-what?" mumbled Ron.

"The truth potion," sighed Hermione.

"But how are we going to get one of those?" asked Harry.

"Hang on," said Ron. "Doesn't Snape keep that kind of stuff in his cupboards?"

"Exactly," emphasized Hermione.

"So you're asking us to break into Snape's cupboards?" said Harry.

Hermione shrugged. "It can't be all that hard. We've done before."

()()

But over the next Potion classes, Snape was becoming increasingly harder to fool. Several times, they tried staying late to sneak into Snape's office after class, but they found Snape and Malfoy still in the classroom, arguing. Snape ushered them out, saying they didn't need anyone disturbing Malfoy's protection. On the way out, Harry heard Malfoy going on about how he wanted Snape to stop following him to the bathroom.

"Blimey, what is it with Snape?" commented Ron as they headed towards their next class. "He's acting like his life depends on Malfoy's or something..."

Harry suggested that they change up their plan. The new plan was infinitely more risky, but also more clever. Ron didn't like it from the start.

Next class, Snape announced that they were to brew a shrinking potion. Harry, Hermione, and Ron acquired their ingredients from the cupboard and set to work. In about five minutes, Hermione gave Ron the signal- a simple wink.

Ron took out a Weasley Wizarding Wheezes ton-tongue nougat and popped it into his mouth. There was an odd slurping sound and Ron's tongue started to grow to immense size, until it was practically touching the floor. The class crowded around him, looking shocked.

"You idiot!" Snape whined. "Can't you just follow the directions properly and not make a fool out of yourself at every opportunity!?"

"Granger, go take him to hospital wing," Snape demanded.

Hermione frowned. "Professor, I don't really want to be near him-"

"FINE!" roared Snape. "I'll take him myself." He got up and dragged Ron out of the room disgustedly. "You lot stay put," he added.

Now that Snape was gone, the next part of the plan could proceed.

Harry took out a small decoy detonater he had bought from the Weasleys' stores, and released it on the ground. It scurried through the desks emitting loud banging noises and several clouds of smoke. Several people shrieked and ran out of the way. Harry watched, admiring the chaos, before he remembered what he was supposed to do.

"Come on," he said to Hermione, and they ran up to Snape's office. Harry tried to force the door open, but couldn't.

"It's locked."

"Harry- are you a wizard or what?" cried Hermione exasperatedly.

"Oh right," said Harry and took out his wand. "Alohomora!"

The doors swung open and they stepped inside. Hermione stepped past Snape's desk and searched for potion vials among the shelves.

"Aha!" she exclaimed, holding up a small bottle titled "Veritaserum".

"Brilliant!" said Harry, and he kissed her on the cheek. Hermione blushed slightly.

They exited the office, hand in hand, while the other students were still in a panic.

"Well, it certainly took a lot of trouble to get one tiny bottle," remarked Hermione.

"Yeah, and we still have to figure out a way to capture Snape," added Harry, the task looking more and more daunting.

Hermione sighed and peered at the Veritaserum bottle. "We should probably go and check in the hospital wing to see if Ron is all right," she said.

Harry nodded. "Speaking of Ron," he said, "There's something I've got to tell you. Ron had sex with Parvati."

"WHAT?" yelled Hermione, dropping the bottle of Veriteraserum. Harry dived to the ground to catch it. Luckily Harry's reflexes were extremely sharp from Quidditch and he managed to salvage the bottle before it would have smashed.

'Phew' Hermione mouthed to him and clutched her beating chest. "You really have to tell me about Ron and Parvati," she said warmly.

"I will," assured Harry, drawing his arms around her. "All in good time." And he gave her a kiss on the lips.

**Author's note: Thanks badkid0h for your review! Sorry, this was probably the worst of the chapters I wrote. But I have a really good idea for the next one!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own HarryPotterWorld**

**Chapter 12**

It was the first trip to Hogsmeade, and the students were all as excited as a house elf recieving socks. The weather however, was not cooperating. A cold breeze wafted through every corridor and made the students shiver. A layer of frost had settled outside, but it was still yet to snow.

"No snow, but freezing cold," muttered Hermione indignantly as she sat on the couch by the fireplace. "That's just ridiculous." She wrapped a scarf tightly around her neck.

Harry agreed with her. Not that he cared about the beautiful snowy landscape, but it had become a custom for him and Ron and him to build a funny snowman each winter. Once they had built a snowman of Hagrid riding a hipogriff (with a little magical refining.) Another time they had constructed a house elf with a food tray, much to Hermione's disapproval. Most recently, they had made a model of Snape getting a haircut. It had lasted until Snape came by personally and melted it.

()()()()()()()

The entrance to Hogsmeade was completely packed with students the following weekend. The security of the small village had been tightened due to the recent attacks. As Harry, Hermione, and Ron stepped out into the cool air, a pack of Aurors walked past, patrolling the area.

Harry and Hermione walked towards Madam Rosmerta's to get some warm butterbeers, but Ron did not follow.

"Ron, where are you going?" Harry called.

"Sorry, Harry," said Ron, not looking sorry at all. "I promised I would meet Parvati at Madame Puddifoot's tea shop." He walked off in the other direction.

Madame Puddifoot's Tea shop? pondered Harry. He snorted. Harry distinctly recalled Ron calling the tea shop a place "where wannabes and old hags write love notes to each other while slobbering on each others' faces". But he decided not to remind Ron.

"So I guess it's just you and me, then," said Hermione, taking his hand. Harry looked at her face. She was so beautiful when she smiled…He could not take his eyes off her.

"Do you want to go and get a butterbeer?" he suggested lamely.

"Sure, why not?" Hermione agreed.

On the way there, they caught sight of Hagrid slouched in the corner. His eyes were read and he was sniffling onto the signpost.

"Hagrid?" said Hermione, concerned. "Are you all right."

Hagrid glanced up. "Aragog died!" he stated sharply.

"Oh- Hagrid!" exclaimed Hermione. "We're so sorry, we didn't know-"

"You Bloody well did know!" roared Hagrid. He stood up suddenly.

"I tol' ya te come, but...Whaddaya care about some ruddy Half-gian' and his spider!" Hagrid shouted. "Haven' even visited me one time this year!"

"Hagrid- we're sorry!" Harry shouted.

"Sorry, my FOOT!" Hagrid growled. "Yer the Boy Who Lived, ye don' know about how I felt for Aragog! Ye don't fuckin' CARE!"

Hagrid looked at them cowering together, and his face fell. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I shouldn' have yell'd at you." He sniffled. "I was jus' upset."

"It's okay, Hagrid," consoled Hermione, patting him on the back. "I'm really sorry about Aragog. We promise we'll visit you more from now on."

Hagrid nodded apologetically.

"Truce?" said Harry, offering out his hand.

Hagrid took it with his enormous paw and shook hard.

()()()()()

Hand in hand, Hermione and Harry walked through the bitter cold. Strangely, Harry felt that it was not so freezing anymore, and he took off his coat. Harry scanned his surroundings, taking in the bustling Hogsmeade activity. He spotted Luna tiptoeing through the street alone, wearing her spectrespecs. Around the corner, Ginny and Dean were busy groping each other (Harry's stomach gave a lurch.) Then he saw someone that could be very useful.

"Snape!" Harry hissed.

Snape was strolling along by himself, oblivious to his surroundings. He entered The Three Broomsticks hastily.

"We could ambush him right now, and get the information out of him!" Harry told Hermione.

"Harry, we would be seen by everyone!" she exclaimed. She tilted her head. "But I do have a plan." Hermione leaned in and whispered the plan in Harry's ear.

"Great idea, but I don't have anything to put in Snape's drink," remembered Harry. "I used up my Weasley goods ages ago." But as he turned towards Hermione he saw a brightly decorated shop out of the corner of his eye. Flashing posters, exploding items- Zonko's. Harry's frown turned into a grin.

They entered Zonko's quickly. Harry couldn't stop himself from drooling with delight at the rows of joke items.

"Harry- we have to be quick!" said Hermione. "Snape might have left already!"

Harry picked up a tiny mint off the shelf that read "Droobles! Farting Mint!" Harry laughed. "It would be hilarious if we slipped this one into Snape's drink. He would be going on for hours during classes. Snape stunk so much already it's not as if he would notice the smell."

Hermione gave a nervous laugh, and searched for a candy that induced sleep.

Harry scanned throughout the shop, and picked up a red bubble gum out of curiosity. "Makes your nose grow over 6 inches!" the label read. "It's not as if Snape needs any of that," he chuckled to himself.

"Got it!" he heard Hermione shout. She had found a bottle of sleep-inducing candy powder. They paid for it at the counter, and headed out.

Harry rummaged for the invisibility cloak in his bag, and slipped it over him and Hermione. They cuddled together and hunched down, so Harry's feet would not show on the ground. She was so warm and cuddly, thought Harry. Hermione's breasts were now pressed against Harry's back, and Harry wanted them to stay there forever. Unfortunately Hermione shifted her position. Harry cursed inwardly.

They walked up to the Three Broomsticks and slipped through the door as someone else was entering. Snape was sitting in the back, drumming his fingers on the table. He looked ustraight at Harry with his beady, hateful eyes.

Harry wanted to fade away into the background. He knew Snape could not see him, but he wanted to get away from him all the same.

Snape moved around to talk to Professor Sinistra, who was sitting to the left of him. It was the perfect opportunity.

"Now!" Harry hissed in Hermione's ear. They tiptoed forward towards Snape's butterbeer. Hermione took out the bottle of powder, keeping it concealed underneath the cloak. She dropped a few pinches of powder into Snape's butterbeer. Snape did not notice anything.

Harry sighed in relief, and they carefully tredged backwards out of the shop. They spied at Snape through the window.

"In about five minutes," said Hermione said methodically, glancing at her watch.

Sure enough, Snape swayed slowly out of the shop, muttering "I'm feeling a little ill. I think I'll go see Pomfrey." He yawned and groggily walked onwards. Hermione and Harry followed behind silently. Suddenly, Snape collapsed to the ground and started snoring.

"Quick!" yelled Harry. Making sure that they were out of sight, he seized the invisibility cloak and covered Snape with it. They picked up his body, Hermione carrying Snape by the legs and Harry holding up his shoulders. Snape was heavier than Harry had thought. He decided he needed to work on his muscles.

It must have been a strange sight- two teenagers carrying an invisible object down the streets of Hogsmeade. People were staring at them as if they were crazy.

"Where are we going?" he asked Hermione. He felt stupid just walking without knowing the complete plan.

"How about the Shrieking Shack?" she smiled brightly. Harry shook his head. He had bad memories there. "Oh, Harry, don't be stubborn," sighed Hermione. "You know perfectly well it's not _really_ haunted."

And so they headed off to the Shrieking Shack. The Whomping Willow loomed ominously before them, but it posed no threat. Hermione used a simple force charm to perfectly aim a jet of light at the knob at the bottom of the tree. The Willow stood still, allowing them to enter.

"Lumos," Harry whispered, as they walked into the dusty darkness of the shack. They set Snape down in the corner with a thump. Harry and Hermione panted for several seconds, before Hermione took the Veritaserum out of her pocket. She tilted Snape's mouth open, and poured a few drops in. Then she pointed her wand at Snape and said "Ennervate."

Snape opened his eyes warily and looked at them. He tried to get up, but he was still too weak.

Harry got straight to the point. "Where is Voldemort hiding?" he demanded.

"In England." Snape's voice was a monotone.

"Yes," groaned Hermione exasperatedly. "But _where_? Be specific!"

"Voldemort is hiding in Little Whinging." Harry gave a start. Little Whinging? Why was Voldemort there? Had he discovered where Harry lived over the summer? Harry started to panic and his breath came faster.

"Thank you," silenced Hermione. "That is all we need." And before Snape could react, she pointed her wand at him and yelled "Obliviate!" Snape collapsed and fell unconscious. (Snape woke up believing that he had travelled back in time to three years ago, where he had stumbled upon Sirius Black talking to Harry, Ron and Hermione. But that is a different story.)

Hermione and Harry, exited the Shack with a skip in their steps, leaving the Death Eater scum all alone.

"Well, that's one step closer to defeating Voldemort," said Hermione cheerily, as they reentered Hogwarts.

"Still- we just know where he is," pointed out Harry. "We have no clue how to actually defeat him."

Hermione put an arm around his neck. "No clue?" she asked, raising her eyebrows sexily. "Mister, I'm Hermione Jean Granger. I always have a clue."

Harry was left with no words. They made a great combo, he pondered. The Boy who Lived and The Smartest Witch of Her Generation. Together, they could achieve anything. Voldemort was probably shivering in his underwear.

**Next chapter is Christmas! Best part! Yay! Keep the reviews up!**


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